Chapter 1 - Starting a Family

An experiential guide to help parents bring children into this world in a fully integrated and natural way

Why do You Want a Baby?

Conception is the by-product of a perfect spiritual, loving union of two being. Sexuality is a joy of the physical body to b e experienced without fear, guilt, anger or shame. Women and men are the yin and yang of the very essence of universal energy. Bringing the two together so that they meld as a single unit is the ultimate union. The pleasure experienced is like the ultimate pleasure and love that surrounds and flows through all and everything in the universe. The ultimate love. When two physical bodies express this love with physical union, they literally become one as the man penetrates the woman and she draws up his seed into her body. This seed, the union of the two, is nurtured in a loving, protective environment until it is time for another soul to borrow the physical form for its growth and development.

At least this is the highest ideal of conception. Anything that affects this ideal can have an effect on its conclusion – that is, if conception takes place or not and the circumstances and feelings that surround it. As all actions, words and thoughts become part of us and we are the sum of our experiences, then everything that we have thought, heard and seen about love, relationships, children and families will colour our thoughts about having our own family. As all thoughts precede action, then negative thoughts and experiences can affect our bodies physically.

If our childhood was happy and loving and we saw that children complemented and were part of a happy relationship, then we will want to reproduce that experience as we grow up. If on the other hand, there were events in our childhood that were not so pleasant and children were seen as a chore or a hindrance to life, then we are less likely to want to reproduce that experience or the reverse may be true and we feel that we want to show our parents / the world how it should be done. As the word says, reproduce. These events literally affect the reproduction process.

It was often thought that having children was a biological necessity, a natural urge that we have no control over. But we do; both consciously and subconsciously. May be it is a conscious pleasure we are looking forward to or may be a subconscious experience that we wish to learn from. As the human race moves forward on its spiritual development, it is time that we made each conception the start of a pleasant journey for both the parents and the child. This child that we have undertaken to nurture and support is the beginning of another era – the new generation leading us, humanity, towards the light.

So when deciding to start a family, the first question to ask yourself is "Why?". Why do you want to bring children into the world?

Are they to complement a loving relationship, or are they to hold together a rocky one?
Are they an expression of your love, or are they to fill a gap in your life?
Are they your soul's purpose, or are they an excuse for not doing something else?
Are they a result of living fully in the moment, or are they a means of living your life through them?
Are they a natural and loving extension of yourself, or are they a means of providing an heir and some one to look after you?
Is this a joint conscious decision or are you being pressurised into it by other family members or society?
Is it what you want or to prove someone else wrong?

An important consideration is to be honest with yourself and your partner. Make sure it is what you both want at this time. It not only takes two to conceive a child, it also takes two to support and nurture that child for the rest of his life. Yes! Not just until puberty, or until you get bored, or you feel too old, children are for life not just for the good times. The interplay between you changes for sure, but the bond you created can not just be broken because you have had enough or changed your mind. However you treat your children in those early informative years will surely come back to you as time goes by and you begin to rely on them more and more for their support and nurture.

What is Stopping You?

Self-responsibility is the key. There is no one responsible for a conception except ourselves. This is equally true for a difficult conception as it is for an unwanted or mistimed one. Our subconscious thoughts become physical realities. These are our thoughts, our feelings and no one else’s, so we must become consciously aware of all our thoughts and feelings and stop making others responsible – our partners, the contraception, the drink, the drugs, the physical deformities. They are all under our conscious control, if only we but knew it.

To take this further, the potential bond of parents and child is actually formed in the time before conception, in the spiritual dimension. This bond is created for the mutual benefit and growth of all involved. But it is not cast in stone. If the potential bond no longer serves as a needed life experience due to changes in the spiritual growth of one of the parties, then the potential bond can be changed.

So there is always choice if we consciously chose. All choices are for the highest good of all concerned and conception is probably the most important one to make – both for the parents and the child. Some may appear difficult but the learning experienced can be tremendous.

But life does not have to be difficult. If we go with the flow, then living and learning can be a great source of pleasure. Conception is the first physical lesson for the new child and we have undertaken to manifest that first lesson for him. So our duty is not only to ourselves to make the beginning of a new life pleasurable but to our child as well and hopefully to his children and so on.

This is the beginning of change that our planet has longed for and we are in the privileged position to ‘start the ball rolling’ so to speak. So let us explore ways to make the conception of a child, the spiritual essence manifesting into another physical human form, be the pleasant experience that we would like it to be and find out how to overcome any problems that mat arise.

Having thought honestly and truthfully about why you would like to start a family, you have probably discovered that there may be more than one reason – and some may not be comfortable to acknowledge. This is fine as we are all human, and that means ‘less than perfect’. If we were perfect, we would not need to manifest in this physical form. So what to do with the less positive reasons for starting a family and why do anything at all?

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